40 Weeks with Baby Brother

I How far along? 39 weeks 5 days

Total weight gain/loss: +28 lbs (18 this pregnancy, +10 from Naomi)

Maternity clothes? Yes mostly. So thankful the weather is cooling off and I can wear my warmer maternity clothes.

Stretch marks? Those red dots are expanding and I have a few more than last time. The are on the sides of my belly, above my hips.

Sleep: Not awesome, again. I have trouble with back and hip pain and restless legs are coming back. Thankfully I have been able to fall back to sleep pretty quickly when I wake up in the middle of the night.

Miss Anything? Running! I stopped running at 37 weeks because Noah fell sick and couldn't walk and we were taking it easy, by the time I started up again 2 weeks later, my doctor told me I shouldn't run because of the time I'd had off and how far along I was.

Movement: He is moving consistently, not a crazy active baby though (a lot like his big brother).

Food cravings: Anything other than most veggies.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Veggies!

Have you started to show yet: Yes, at 2 days shy of my due date, I am def looking pregnant. Although I still get "you don't look like you're about to pop!!" comments almost daily. These are not hurtful, but I don't know how to respond, so it's awkward. Also it's a little frustrating because when you DO look about to pop people are extra nice to you and sympathetic, but I am mostly ignored if there is another pregnant person in the vicinity.

Gender: Baby Brother!!

Labor Signs: Not really :-(. I found out last Friday at my appointment that they will induce labor this coming Monday if he hasn't already come on his own because of my history of stillbirth with Naomi. So we are praying praying he comes beforehand! I was 3 cm and 50% effaced today at my appt, and Doctor said there's a 50/50 chance he could come before Monday, haha...not super helpful. Truly doing our best to rest and know it is completely in God's hands. 

Belly Button in or out? Still so far in.

Wedding rings on or off? On

Happy or Moody most of the time: Starting to get more moody, which I am apologetic for. I am uncomfortable and trying not to be anxious about the induction. God is able! Also my mom has been here the past week which has been wonderful and such a help!

Size of Baby: I don't even know...I'm guessing around 8 lbs, similar to his brother (Noah was 7 lbs 14.5 oz at birth at 41 weeks).

Exercise this week (this is for my own accountability): Just walking each day, some days more than others, trying to get this guy to come out!

How about Big Brother?  

He is actually just waking up from his nap now so this will be short, but one of my favorite things he has done here and there is run around the house saying "come out little brother! Want to meet you!" He is loving going outside constantly and especially playing on the new fort his dada built him in the back yard with swings and a slide and big platform! He also asks for "dada hammer" all day long and loves to hammer everything in sight.

37 Weeks with Baby Brother

I How far along? 36 weeks 6 days

Total weight gain/loss: +25 lbs (15 this pregnancy, +10 from Naomi)

Maternity clothes? Yes mostly. Some bigger t-shirts and I have a couple pairs of shorts that aren't maternity, but have a stretchier waist, so they work.

Stretch marks? Red "dots" on the tops of the stretch marks I gained with Noah, indicating the skin is stretching around there again this time. Thankfully I only had a couple with him, but I didn't notice them til after he arrived, so there could be more hiding.

Sleep: Not so good still. It is extra hard because I end up keeping Jimmy awake with all my tossing and turning and he needs his sleep too, of course. I am not struggling quite as much with restless legs, PTL, but I do have a lot of pain in my pelvis after being on my side, so I roll partly to my back and then have lower back pain, so I spend the night going back and forth. I am also struggling to shut my brain off! I keep wanting little guy to be here and get too excited to sleep, even though I'm exhausted.

Miss Anything? Sleep and Noah being able to sit comfortably on my lap, but otherwise going strong.

Movement: I've found that days I run in the morning he doesn't move a whole lot. If I take a day off from running, he is a crazy person and moves all over all day long!

Food cravings: Sweets and comfort foods. I pretty much am wanting to eat all hours I'm awake.

Anything making you queasy or sick: for some reason I have an aversion to vegetables now like I did in the first trimester. I will try to make myself eat some greens and it is the nastiest thing to me! So weird!

Have you started to show yet: Yes, i think I look 8+ months pregnant now, but I actually get more comments about how small my belly is whenever people ask. I am not complaining, he is just wedged in real deep.

Gender: Baby Brother!!

Labor Signs: not really, I'd like them to hold off til my mom gets here on the 16th, but any time immediately after that would be great! I will say I've had some cramping and BH contractions the past couple days that have been uncomfortable, but definitely not impending labor. I was dilated 1 cm at my 36 week appt (which I was with Noah as well).

Belly Button in or out? Still so far in.

Wedding rings on or off? On

Happy or Moody most of the time: I am happy and very grateful for the life God has given me, I truly love where we are as a family and can't wait for this little guy to get here! That being said, I have a much harder time controlling my mood swings than I should and that is just hard on everyone. This is still true, and I am only getting more and more excited for our buddy's arrival. It is hard for me to just be content and rest in each day as God brings it, but I am trying!

Size of Baby: he was 5 lbs 1 oz at 33 weeks and measuring 6 lbs 12 oz at our ultrasound this morning!!

Exercise this week (this is for my own accountability): I am starting to ease off a little as I have a lot of pelvic pain after I run and pool is closed temporarily. Sat: off Sun: off Mon: off Tues: ran 3.1 miles at Y Wed: Ran 3.6 miles at Y Thurs: Ran 3 miles at Y, Fri or Sat: Hoping to run 4 miles with Noah if it isn't too hot.

How about Big Brother?  

Noah continues to be a joy and a blessing at a week shy of 20 mos. We got him a new "glider" bike yesterday that he is still a little small for, but is starting to get the hang of. He LOVES his dada so much and it is wonderful! Jimmy and Noah have so much fun together, and right now I feel like I can only observe because of being tired and sore, but soon, Lord willing, the 4 of us will be galavanting together! Noah is speaking in sentences sometimes 5 words long and continues to amaze us with his intelligence! These little people learn so much so fast! We are working on memorizing John 3:16, and so far have "for God so loved the world." We so desire and pray that he would love Jesus with his whole heart and it is sweet to hear him repeat Scripture and pray. He has been completely obsessed with listening to music 24 hours a day. He wakes up and immediately says "Music!" We'll say "how was your night/nap?" He'll say "Music!" Until we bring him in to the living room and turn the music on. When he doesn't like a song he'll say "different music" and when a song ends, he'll say "bye bye music!" And my favorite is when it's a live recording and there's clapping at the end, he'll pause whatever he's doing and say "yaaaaay music!" We like to dance together to "Faithful" by Daniel Renstrom and Noah has started to request and sing the word "Faithful." I could go on and on, obviously. I just want to have a record of these sweet memories with our big brother!

Bump at 36&6:

33 Weeks with Baby Brother

 How far along? 32 wks 6 days.

Total weight gain/loss: +23 lbs (13 this pregnancy, +10 from Naomi)

Maternity clothes? Yes mostly. Some bigger t-shirts and I have a couple pairs of shorts that aren't maternity, but have a stretchier waist, so they work.

Stretch marks? Not yet, but can tell the couple I ended up with from Noah are "flaring up" (?)

Sleep: Not so good. It is extra hard because I end up keeping Jimmy awake with all my tossing and turning and he needs his sleep too, of course. I have pretty bad restless legs most nights and they can keep me up for 2-3 hours :(. Some nights I also have a hard time breathing, so the combo is really no fun.

Miss Anything? Yes. I miss it not being in the 90°s and super humid constantly! But, praise the Lord, it looks like we're getting a little bit of a break this week.

Movement: This little boy is moving a lot these days, which is wonderful. He gets the hiccups pretty much everyday and sometimes jabs some body part out so you can feel it, like a lump on the side of my belly. Really fun for me :).

Food cravings: Sweets and comfort foods. 

Anything making you queasy or sick: I think I am more sensitive to smells right now, so if there is a yucky smell, it seems worse to me than it actually is, but nothing that really makes me nauseated.

Have you started to show yet: Yes, more people commenting on my belly and asking when I'm due :).

Gender: Baby Brother!!

Labor Signs: No, and I want them to hold off for now, but if they could show up in a few weeks and not wait forevs like they did with Noah, I would be very appreciative.

Belly Button in or out? Still so far in.

Wedding rings on or off? On

Happy or Moody most of the time: I am happy and very grateful for the life God has given me, I truly love where we are as a family and can't wait for this little guy to get here! That being said, I have a much harder time controlling my mood swings than I should and that is just hard on everyone.

Size of Baby: 17+ inches and 4-5 lbs!! Can't believe it!

Exercise this week (this is for my own accountability): Mon: Ran 4 miles with Noah, Tues: off, Wed: Ran 4.1 at Y, Thurs: Ran 4.1 at Y, Fri: Swam 1600 yards at Y, Sat: Ran 5 miles with Noah.

How about Big Brother?  

Oh my goodness, I love that little guy so much! He is becoming more and more social. He seems to LOVE going to The Y now and says "Hi! hi! hi!" to all the childcare workers whenever we go. He loves to run around and be tickled and tries to "jump!" but can't get off the ground yet. He has learned to climb on the coffee table and talks all the time about "go on table! Up high!" which we let him do because it is amazingly entertaining. He said "I love you, mama" the other day and says "I love you, dada" too. It is the sweetest. He LOVES the toddler pool at the Y and tries to make friends with all the other kids while running around in the water. He has also almost figured out how to blow bubbles in the water! He speaks mostly in sentences, which amazes us and is really adorable. We just love our little man and can't wait to introduce him to his baby brother!!

Bump Pic:

27 Weeks with Baby Brother

How far along? 26 weeks 5 days (at my appointment today I learned that my doctor hadn't officially changed my due date to September 30 in my paperwork, so we are going by September 26.)

Total weight gain/loss: +21 lbs (11 this pregnancy, +10 from Naomi)

Maternity clothes? Yep yep - and if you have any you want to send my way, please do! It is HOT here and I am uncomfortable in everything, but don't have many maternity clothes and they are expensive things!

Stretch marks? Not yet. PTL! Pulled out the Cocoa Butter the other day to start the prevention.

Sleep: Usually very good, but I have been congested (again!) the last couple of nights and have had a lot of lower back pain, so a little less good right now.

Miss Anything? Cooler days of Spring, haha!  But not much right now, just so wanting to meet our sweet boy!

Movement: He doesn't move quite as often right now, but he still makes himself known a few times a day and it is really great.  So much fun!

Food cravings: Sometimes doughnuts.  Always desserts.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Not really! Ptl feeling good!

Have you started to show yet: Yes, I feel like I look like I did when I was 30 weeks with Noah/BigBro!

Gender: Baby Brother!!

Labor Signs: Oh no, sir!

Belly Button in or out? Still so far in.

Wedding rings on or off? On

Happy or Moody most of the time: I am quite happy! But I do get tired more easily and every once in a while have a silly mood swing.

Size of Baby: About 9 inches and 2 lbs!

Exercise this week (this is for my own accountability): Thurs: Ran 3.5 miles at the Y, Friday: off, Saturday: Ran 4 miles on Neuse River Trail, Sunday: Ran 3 miles from home, Monday: Swam 1600 yds at the Y, Tuesday: Ran 4.15 miles at the Y, Wednesday: Walked 2 miles at Shelley Lake + 50 min Prenatal DVD

How about Big Brother?  Noah is so so sweet and he is such a joy to parent!  Of course, he has his moments of disobedience because he was born with a sin nature, but he is learning and growing leaps and bounds every day!  He LOVES playing with friends and says their names over and over when he knows he is going to see them.  He does well at the nursery at church and the Y and says "thank you" and "Bye bye" to the workers when we pick him up.  He says tons of words at this point and is starting on sentences! Right now they are short "Bye Bye/Night Night Dada/Lyla/Daniel/insert friend's name" and "Park? Play?"My favorite word to hear him say (other than Mama) is "Applesauce" because it is adorable.  He LOVES books and will pretty much read Hop On Pop to you himself.  He will also ask for books by name and retrieve the correct book if you ask him to get a certain one. He recognizes Mickey everywhere somehow and "Deorge" (Curious George).  He is also great with shapes, especially "Kircle" and will point out circles on everything.  When I get out my guitar he excitedly says "'tar!" and when we ask what he wants to sing he almost always says "ABCs!" and then he wants to sing "Bababa" (Ba Ba Black Sheep).  He also asks for "Big!" (My God is So Big) and "Beep beep beep!" (Wheels on the Bus). I feel like he does something new every day and it never ceases to amaze me.  He is such a gift from God and I can not wait for him to meet his baby brother (he also loves to pat my belly and say "Hi, baby! Hi, baby!").

Sorry, still no pic.  I will try to take one and update soon!

23 Weeks with Baby Brother!

How far along? 23 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: +20 lbs (10 this pregnancy, +10 from Naomi/HeavenGirl)

Maternity clothes? Yep yep

Stretch marks? Not yet. PTL!

Sleep: Pretty good!  I am usually up once to pee, and that's not bad at all!

Miss Anything? Prob fitting into clothes and feeling comfortable in my skin.

Movement: Yes, this boy moves SO much and it is a blessing from the Lord for that reassurance.  He is very strong already and I feel him pretty consistently every day.

Food cravings: Nothing too crazy, but today I want all the terrible comfort foods.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Not really! Ptl feeling good!

Have you started to show yet: Yes, I feel like I look like I did when I was 30 weeks with Noah/BigBro!

Gender: Baby Brother!!

Labor Signs: Oh no, sir!

Belly Button in or out? Still so far in.

Wedding rings on or off? On

Happy or Moody most of the time: I am quite happy! But I do get tired more easily and every once in a while have a silly mood swing.

Size of Baby: About 8 inches and 1.2 lbs!

Exercise this week (this is for my own accountability): I will have to check back on my Garmin for last Thurs - I think I ran 4 miles Thurs, swam 1200 yrds Fri, Ran 5 miles Sat, off Sunday, 1 hr Muscle Class at Y Monday, walked 1.25 Tuesday...hoping to run 4 miles today for National Running Day!

Sorry, no pic yet.  My computer is incredibly slow, so I dread trying to get on and update, which is why it has been so far in between, and dealing with pictures is just another blah on top of that.  Apologetic!

16 Week Update - Baby #3

How far along? 16 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: Okay, so here is the deal with this section for this pregnancy - I gained 10 lbs with HeavenGirl and never lost the weight, so I started pregnancy #3 roughly 10 lbs heavier than I was with BigBro pre pregnancy.  I am using my BigBro pre pregnancy weight as my starting weight and hoping to curb weight gain since I started out so much heavier...make sense?  So right now I am going to say my weight gain is 11lbs, even though I have actually only gained 1-2 lbs this pregnancy alone. I am trying (not really that hard) to maintain this weight until at least 20 weeks, to be on a healthier track.  By "trying" I am running some and not really watching what I eat at all.

Maternity clothes? I guess...I am really in-between and feel large in everything truthfully.  When baby belly is actually looking baby-bellyish, this will get better.

Stretch marks? Not yet. PTL!

Sleep: Pretty good!  I am usually up once to pee, and that's not bad at all!

Best moment this week: I just love hanging out with BigBro all day everyday.  He is a sweet sweet boy and I cherish our times together.  Even better are the times when WBH comes home.  I love him and miss him very much while he is working.  So the best moments have been him walking in the door every evening :).

Miss Anything? Prob fitting into clothes and feeling comfortable in my skin.

Movement: Not yet, hopefully just a few more weeks!  It will be extra reassuring when baby is big enough to feel consistently,

Food cravings: Today - sweets.  But it varies and nothing really crazy now that I'm out of nausea trimester.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Not really! Ptl feeling so much better (than weeks 5-13).

Have you started to show yet: Nope, just extra pudge that can kind of look like a baby bump in the right outfit.

Gender: Find out in 2 weeks!!

Labor Signs: Oh no, sir!

Belly Button in or out? Still so far in.

Wedding rings on or off? On

Happy or Moody most of the time: I am quite happy! But I do get tired more easily and every once in a while have a silly mood swing.

Size of Baby: About the size of an avocado - roughly 4.5 inches and 3.5 oz.

Exercise this week (this is for my own accountability): Ran a mile, walked a mile with BigBro Sunday, Ran 2 miles with BigBro Monday, ran 2.75 with BigBro Tuesday, Ran 2 with BigBro Wednesday.  All about 10:30 min/mile.

Baby bump Selfie:

Expecting #3, Part 2

It was recommended we wait at least 3 months before trying to get pregnant again.  It also just so happened that all of the Fall Holidays and Christmas came about in those three months.  I was somewhat of an emotional basket case, but not as much as you might expect.  The first 2 months I couldn't really imagine having another baby, I just wanted to have HeavenGirl and I knew that getting pregnant again would not fix the pain of our loss.  Like anyone going through grief (and I've been here a time or two at this point in my life), there were clear, really good days, and completely cloudy, not-so-good days.  When it came time to "try" again, however, we were absolutely ready for another baby.  Not to "get over" the loss of HeavenGirl, but because we were even more excited about the idea of pregnancy and having another sweet life entrusted to us.  We realized how much and how deeply we loved our babies and that we were called to have more! Praise God!

We got pregnant the first month we tried, and we absolutely know how undeserving we are of that blessing.  We have many friends that are struggling and have struggled with infertility and we do not take our ability to conceive for granted.  We are flat on our face in awe of such grace.

This time we scheduled an appointment with the prenatal nurse for 6 weeks and saw our doctor at 8 weeks.  At 8 weeks, all looked good! We were amazed and grateful.  And our due date? Sep 30th.  Remember how I told you to remember that date from last time? Yes. This baby's due date is the exact anniversary of the day we found out HeavenGirl had died.  This is not a coincidence, and there is nothing we could have done to plan to have this exact due date.  Again, we are floored at God's mercy.

We had another appt at 10 weeks for my peace of mind, and then a heart beat check at 14 weeks.  So far, so good! I have a doppler (that a sweet organization is lending to me because of our history of loss) so I can listen to baby's heartbeat whenever I want.  It is reassuring to have this ability, but we know that the Doppler does not keep baby alive.

So now I am 16 weeks along! Our next appointment is on April 30 for our 18 week anatomy scan ultrasound. We are so excited!

We're often asked how we are doing emotionally with this pregnancy after our loss.  I am grateful to say that we are very peaceful 95% of the time.  We know that this life is in God's hands, not ours or the doctor's, and we trust that, whatever the outcome, it is good. Of course, about every 3 weeks there will be a hard day where one of us especially misses HeavenGirl and is nervous about the future, and on those days I run head on into the grief and by the morning, it has passed. Probably the hardest is seeing so many pregnant friends that have such a bubbly, joyful innocence about pregnancy - they have never lost and so, why should they think it's a possibility?  They shouldn't dwell on that, for sure! It is selfishly hard because I want that innocence back, and it may never come.  But that is okay, I still deeply cherish the life that is growing!