Over the past week (or more) I have been convicted about my general attitude toward many things. Although I am abundantly blessed and have so much to be thankful for beyond what I could have ever dreamed, I find myself complaining or being easily frustrated and angered. As much as I would love to blame it on the pregnancy hormones, I know this is not the character I was called to have regardless of what my hormones are doing. Honestly, most of my anxiety comes from a lack of intentional time with Jesus and self-discipline. I am called to love others (ALL others) deeply and selflessly, to serve, to be self-controlled, and to "be anxious about nothing." These are traits that have not defined me as of late, and I am confessing this because I don't want the pattern to continue.
Having intentional time alone with the Lord the last few days, writing in my journal, and setting goals to help in the self-discipline areas that I struggle with has been so refreshing for my soul. Instead of getting easily angered at a difficult customer or frustrated and overwhelmed with busyness at work, I am able to start off the day looking forward to the time I have with my amazing coworkers and meeting new friends on the fit stool. I find that I am less on edge at home and can let things blow over before they start - whereas I had really been struggling to just relax and trust how much WBH loves me and our baby. My desire is to continue engaging in these quiet times and putting into practice what I know to be true, even when my silly, irrational emotions are trying to tell me otherwise.
I am truly blessed beyond measure. I am so in love with my Savior, and so in love with my husband (I still count down the hours 'til I get to see him again each day). I am grateful for a wonderful job with supportive and hilarious coworkers that make each day fun. I am thankful for the life that is kicking in my belly right now. Our church body and life class has been one of the biggest, most surprising blessings of all in these last 9 months of our new marriage. I am even thankful for the overcast weather we have been enjoying for about a week and a half now - it makes me feel cozy and Fall-like, and mixed with our pumpkin spice candle, it is beyond peaceful.
So this is not a baby bump update or really any post of insight, just me being transparent and throwing some thoughts out there as a nice gentlemen paints our front door and probably 131 spiders are crawling into our home (another reason I am grateful for my husband ;-) ).
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